Homer the Great

Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours. "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion.

  • Inflammable means flammable? What a country.
  • We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
  • Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
  • Dad didn't leave… When he comes back from the store, he's going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!

Homer Alone

I don't like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there's too many fat children. D'oh. Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.

  1. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
  2. Ahoy hoy?
  3. "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion.
Radioactive Man

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!